Maxed Out

by Options

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credits

released September 30, 2016

maxed out

art by mary clemens
mastered by dave downham @ gradwell house
written, played, and mixed by seth engel (www.sethengel.org)
instruments recorded by seth engel and matt kissinger at the owlery
vocals recorded by seth engel and matt kissinger at pallet sound

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Options Chicago

Options is the solo project of multi-instrumentalist and recording engineer Seth Engel.

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Track Name: feels certain
I used to beg for it, now I'm asking it to leave
No use to wait up for anybody to see
Feels good,
feels certain

words are just sounds, to make to pass time
those verbs and nouns, all sitting on the sidelines
didn't think that grind could sustain what I need
so I'll keep dreaaaaaaming
Track Name: game
cycled through some phases you forgot
got tired. burned out for what?
fell asleep at parties, so I stayed in.
the good feel sure took a second there, a couple days.

got bored of boring scenes so I dipped out
from walls fortified to keep it down
who cares, why care when it's all a game?
i'll keep it simple, keep it plain
Track Name: TLC
I need t l c
what's it even mean?
drench the parchment now
how

sleep in
bathrobe
staying
at home

totally innocuous.
sentiments have been expressed
vapid, vacuous abyss
⁃ black hole and shards of what's left?
Track Name: comfort blanket
anger is a symptom of not know how to handle disappointment.
been appointed "pointed-at, around-for-laughs" and thought I had to like it.
simple comfort is a blanket when the air around you stagnates all.
easy to appreciate the acts more than the person they come from.

it’s hard to know it or even see it though
why would i show it? especially when

systematic categorization left me alone
in a crowd of thousands, understanding smallness made me pine for home
not for lack of effort, a little weary, weathered at last
gust in sails replaced with a cool breeze, and trading tension for a laugh
Track Name: tighter vibes
now out searching for some tighter vibes
inside my dome feeling so weak, and I
don't even know but you could ask me why
and the police are in my brain again
and if the time's not now, I don't know when
and waiting for it to keep happening

have I arrived?
if I could see through my eyes,
I could arrive
Track Name: figure
gotta figure it out
calling my shots, patching the bow
everyone knows what it's all about
i've held it together, but look at me now

gotta figure it out, give it a name
everyone knows that it's just a game that I won't play
the air in my lungs, wrinkles in brow
throught it'd be better by now
sometimes these things time can't allow
Track Name: swan
still the same old duckling that pennsylvania shaped
like a swan without its feathers disfigured by the weight
everyone around me says i could do alright
but take a day in webbed feet and see then where you lie

lurking under the surface
i wanna sing what i can't say
don't believe in purpose
i've got a point yet left to make
been dragging my feathers
through the torrential rain
and when the sun comes out
my home is just a muddy lake
Track Name: dumber summer
buckled in against my will
pillared, backing up the hill
in my head a billion strong
out of body not for long

where do the days go? riding the same road
passage is narrow down the same sinkhole
runnin from somethin i hope only i know

found
myself wondering
where to wander
now, how to get away?
taught me not worth the weight.
need it now, it's known to me.
not physical, but here to stay.
Track Name: morning sum
impossible happened, barely could understand
here you are back in my room after of all this time again
smiled at my own reflection, think i saw him wink right back
held you to my chest just like i'd never see another chance

should've thought it all over, who's at fault?
i'd say trust and desire
a little spill. a little lost in the process.
a tiny piece, not soon enough to forget.

where's it? when's it coming to me?
does it really matter now?
morning summing funny habits, revel in the passing out.
construct, raze it, for a kick and need there be another now?
want it, do not NEED a thing, so find me tucked in, tuckered out.
Track Name: kool
all i thought i left behind, turns out it was just 'round the bend
waiting for an unsuspecting moment, weaving through the lanes to get ahead
calibrate my thoughts, and keep it kool
don't think i forgot what made it bad
drag it through the mud, shake it till it's tired
tie it to a post, beat it till it's red

never coming home, never coming down
Track Name: snuff
once was a boy with the fire in his heart, wanting to throw it all to the dogs.
an older man now, searching for the spark, terrified that it's snuffed out.
and all that fire wasted while we're young. fucked up and racing in all directions, and wanting the world inside of each of our palms.
or maybe just this one.
kissing and piss drunk.
tapped out and pissed off.
listing our missed marks.

can't sing along to a dishonest thought, but i could be wrong
biding my time till it could hit the spot. change in the jar sure has saved me from some wantsssssssss
Track Name: ride
closed my lids. time, it flew. open, wondering where to turn to.
tell myself that it’s not true, i’ll believe in it when i do.

caught off guard, hook from the side
casual backseat, along for the ride.

buried deep, then it bloomed - now it's pollinating my room.
wake early agan, too soon. didn't recognize myself, new.
Track Name: see it out
think you're in some deep shit?
you haven't seen the half of it.
rolling over at night, turbo dreams,
enjoy the ride.
i'll tell you about the hard part;
it's really gonna break your heart.
time to change up the game, no excuses, it's getting late.

sure do remember
the reasons why you came
trying to conjure
a reason you should stay
walk's feeling tired
old tracks tried and true
try to walk a wire
when the tide stares straight at you

know you're in a pinch, man.
nobody's gonna hold your hand.
we're in some ways, the same,
make each other forget our names
and every time you let go,
it feels almost impossible.
I can be there to help,
but you only can see it out.